An ocean of despair,
I am drowning
I reach for something,
Anything to cling to
But my blindness leads me to my death
I am broken
Out of sight from all others
This pain that resides in and around me suffocates so subtly,
until I feel the wrath of tragedy destroying my soul
I am alone
Floating on a wave of haunted memories and lies to be revealed
I have hidden
I am shamed
I am alone fighting this demon inside my mind
Night after night he rapes my purity and sends me back to my reality, guessing my truths
There is a war to wage
I am feeling numb,
Then elated at my healing
Is this a riddle?
A joke to be sneered at?
My compulsion focuses itself and when I realize I am forsaken,
I smile and bless myself
Crashing into walls,
The yin and yang is being distorted to something unrecognizable,
I reach out,
Timid and fearful,
Insecure of my discoveries and their reactions
I aim to please
Seeking unconditional peace and satisfaction,
Only to be left in a world of black and white
Yes and no
Bad and good
Who are they to judge?
‘Fore they themselves have lost their way,
Covered their own tracks
and then smile or get agitated as if they didn’t
The infidelity caused by denial and indecisiveness,
has independence running from itself
The strength of ones own heart will prosper
and be revealed when the mountain seems to have no peak
A constant battle of seclusion
and sleeplessness swirl into a pattern of fruitful laughter,
I seek to know thyself
I dream and feel the sense of meaning in my irrational,
In my heart and soul,
The mind shall follow,
Never before has there been this convex torture aching to be free,
Yearning to fly
And crying for salvation
Hear me
Love me
Understand me
Because I am tired of explaining myself
Words run though me and capture a part of myself I have yet to know
What is this beauty behind the face?
Where does she rest?
And is her immortality inevitable?
Shake me to my senses so I too can flourish bravely,
On the calm throughout the storm


Wavering thoughts crash against the walls of my mind
I struggle to see just over the edge to accept my place
I am young
I am free
I am yearning to be somewhere
But where I am
Reaching outward I claw my way to sanity
Seeking restraint in my head at the time
Reflecting waters catch my image and for a moment,
A slight,
Effervescent fleeting moment,
I saw myself as I would love to be


I thought I saw your footprints in a cloud
Casual puff of white
Dancing relentlessly on its own
Hovering to catch a glimpse of the beauty down below
Not close enough to touch and not too dense too break
They decorate the skies but do they move from state to state?
Clouds float so freely like your love for me
And now I’m watching them
Hoping for a sign
I could have sworn I saw you footprints in a cloud


A surge of energy from deep within
Deeper than the skin
Past the mind
And yes, into the soul
An awakening of the heart
Away from fear
Away from death
And away from life
Diving deeper into the unknown
and a sense of safety that is rediscovered from its own desire
My need and my want
It is time
The time has come to run to freedom
and to release my mind to the heart of peace
I feel it
It shakes the ground from which I walk upon
The ground that rests on fear
I gave up on that exhausting thought…
all of them forgotten
Right there in my thoughts,
are all I’ve ever needed and they are mine
The beginning has begun…


Swell me like a windstorm
You are softest weather never torn
You’re the eye of my storm
The peace and quiet in my soul
Angel of the heavens you were born
Softest temptation I experience you,
Your sensations
You are the heavens first born
Your ability surrounds me
Your vision clouds me
And did I touch your soul?
Have I seen your angel glow?
You have come to live inside me


Gentle breaths fill the room
And in it, lies all of me
My journey has come to an end here
A beginning is where we’re headed
Changing the beating of my heart
Knowing the light that lives in and around me
I feel almighty
Taking the knowledge of myself
I see the genesis occur inside
Flowing are the times
The waves go crash
And knowing this moment is it’s very own
Only to last as long as I want it
I am the angel of wings that flies high to its destiny
One more time
Little baby breaths fill my chest
And now the room is filled of me


In the late morn on a cold day in December, I unintentionally married myself today
Visiting a friend’s friend on Broadway in an artisan village strewn with creativity, I saw her
She was silver and oval and made of my love
Her name is rose, rose quartz in fact and she in simply stunning,
I lifted her from the black velour slit she was resting in
with my right hand to my left ring finger, I gently slid her on
She graced my hand perfectly
She was indeed made for me
I admired her and welcomed her home,
as the cool breeze swept across my face,
and I realized in that moment what this fate had meant
I chose her you see,
My rose,
this love to heal my wounded ring finger and aching heart
She besotted me with her strength, history, and healing effects
I wore her as if I had known her all along
she sat and sits beautifully upon my connected heart chakra
I, in the moment I chose her,
felt her empowerment resonate within and through my being,
knowing in that moment,
I had unexpectedly and magically proposed to
and engaged myself to marry me
I took her value
and shared it with the woman I am to behold,
the sacred nature of my union to myself,
free from him
and free from and him and her,
to find myself in a peaceful, fulfilled solitude,
only to be left in a world,
of creative possibility and inevitable manifestation
In a space and time,
serendipitous and magical,
I vowed ‘I do’ to the one I have longed for
and yearned for so long–
my girl,
my woman,
my femininity and my goddess within
And today,
I stand proud and sovereign in wedded bliss to such grandeur
This promise,
eternal and everlasting,
grants me the gift of loving another as such
Within me, I have found all that I sought
and that which I seek I have found
Now onward and upward to the birth of my life,
and this child, now woman named…


In the rough of seas,
Of the change in sky,
I desire to forever rest beside you
My heart doth hurt
And knoweth not, the turn it took
A jaded thought
A fateful look
And all that I believe,
Is the love of thee

I am shaken to the bone,
A chill of fear that I do own
Fret not for what is to come
As I do now sense the breath of one

I knew you once,
Your self and soul
And now is rest,
Sad and tossed beside myself
Alone and barren where has my thought of Farin gone?
Buried or free amongst itself?
I beg you now for your help

I kissed your lips and poison of love
And forever I am yours below and above

I cannot bear the loss of you
And if we must be apart,
Our vows we spoke
A laugh,
A gift that I did since broke

I know not my self and why I chose
To give away the love,
I love most

My heart shattered in many
A slash,
A break,
An eternal ache
I have since gone away
And wonder where my self will stay

Lost and filled with truth
That I knoweth thee have since rebute

You, my breath
My blue eyes of peace
Lips of ginger
And touch of rest

I cannot forget the passion of ember
Forever my love, will I remember

I know nothing of thee,
I thought I was free
And still I rest apart from his breast

Once a bride,
Full of pride
A fool,
Apart from you
And I thought I knoweth of my time
I prayeth one day I do find
Peace and comfort inside my soul
And let it come before my death


I have the heart of Buddha,
the consciousness of Christ,
I do not know well of Muhammad but suspect his best I too contain,
I am the Hindu deities wrapped in one,
the circle of Tao, and the transformative spirit of ambitious prayer
Within me, god and goddess behold a realm of vast possibilty
I am the Reiki master and shaman soul, the native intuition and Aquarian vision
The prophet is I as well, joined by the magical intention of nature
Ancient wisdom I do possess
Born of fear and love
All that I was before I was myself,
my own living past,
my now,
my future
and me here and eternally,
I without reason or necessity leave ambivalence and apathy respectfully alone


I am free as a bird,
And light as a feather
I am reminded of myself,
Then forgotten in a glance
Who spoke those words to me,
and will I remember the sound of those sweet breaths next to my ear?
I forecast the shadow of the trees
and know no longer their hindrance
I am free as a bird,
And light as a feather