I am here swimming in my own mindful thoughts and the existence they have. Slowly, but surely I find myself gathering my needs to reach depths of dreamlike qualities and realistic ambitions. There is a shadow lurking behind but my conscious mind fends this off by referring to it frequently. I become mesmerized by the beauty and complexity of life. I feel as if I were to write everyday and every moment it would not be enough to capture the expansive emotion I have attached to my soul and the spirit of this world. My chest aches and feels heavy often by the mere race and struggle stress causes me on my city streets. Am I alone? I mustn’t be because I know when I have that connection with another, I feel their soul through their eyes saying “Yes, I believe you and I too feel the same diversities and varieties daily and upon every waking hour.”
The resonating force that my heart beats with is familiar yet so involuntary I forget sometimes that I’m holding my breath. All of the aspects of this complex world must come together to form that sacred prism of light, love, peace, and harmony. I am convinced that all the beauty in the world blended and mixed together creates balance. Purely and simply balance and love remains the truth. One does not fully realize the magnitude one must seek within to retain this nor have they been made aware of the tremendous amount of both energy and internal work it takes to create this miraculous array of sought-after feelings.
I reach out from my inside only to be fraught with doubt and insecurity, which makes me in turn delve deeper within my sea of emotion to gather the position and experiences attached to it. My love and my heart soak in all the energy of another and my eyes attach to all sights that are revealed to me. My memory co-inhabits the space of my mind so I may one day, be able to look back and remember this girl who tried so ambitiously to figure it out while life passed her bye.
Detachment from attachment is a necessary healing device in the walls of social society and the expressed version is often sifted through revealing only the dull, softer, faded passion that once existed. Our soul must push forward and journey down each doorway we have created in our mind’s eye.
Mortality hits me like a train wreck but solidifies by belief in the bigger picture of life and the true reason behind it all. It is sad and can be lonely but making every single solitary moment with the ones you love mindful and thoughtful and unique.
Gently, I lower my arm from a fear of being wrong and in those tiny moments of doubt I take a leap away from pure light and love from within. I will be braver than that, I will fight harder, and have the courage to live and love for my soul’s eternity.