This Full Moon in Leo is beckoning us to illuminate the shadows within our friendships–to eradicate the dysfunction by way of the courageous Lion we have hidden or not so hidden within us, to set ourselves and the other free from vibrations that just doesn’t serve us and to shine on.
I lost one of my best friend’s from childhood last week. His passing was shocking and I’m still devastated and aching. I could actually feel the ripple effect of sadness from my hometown in Connecticut as it made it’s way down the coast and across to us in California. I cannot count the times he said to me ‘shine on crazy diamond’. He was a classic rock lover like me, reciting lyrics and spouting them whenever someone needed a poetic reminder of some emotion we were processing.
His death came at a poignant time in my life as I’ve been reassessing friendships here in my life fro quite some time. I’ve let a lot go—the crazy, unreasonable, the drama, dramatic, the issues, the fractured ego of those that need constant validation or coddling like a toddler having a tantrum. Even at the youngest ages I was never very good at handling any of those projections, nor would I want to be. I’ve always had a sense of how precious time is, how valuable it is and the awareness of the myriad of magical beings that do exist and that I want in my realm. Since I was young doing relentless delving into myself that I’ve always wanted to surround myself with–those bravely diving and healing from within and not those whom project their shit onto me. It’s volatile at worst and boring at best.
Danny’s passing illuminated what friendship means and has always meant to me. It is friendship with no need. Friendship without the other having to unhealthily satiate a damaged part of another. Friendship that illuminates the mind through study, discourse, debate, discussion, knowledge, wisdom, acceptance with difference, true acceptance. Not just in words or theory but shown through action and grace. Friendship with a trust of values, integrity and a moral compass that is the same no matter how different the rest we may be from each other. Friendship with laughter, tears and everything in between because that’s truth.
I feel him at peace now, and I feel me at peace now too. My way of honoring his passing is to instantly let go of any friendships that don’t fare well in my truth–heartfelt, mindful, intellectual, spiritual notions of pure intentions, healed selves and ambitious warriors and warrioresses for everything I too live for–peace, love, truth, honesty, integrity, justice, strength, laughter, knowledge, wisdom, and exchange of light.
I can hear his voice as I write this with that gorgeous devious smile saying ‘shine on crazy diamond’. I turned 38 yesterday and he’s been telling me that since I was 13 years old. I certainly won’t stop now. Danny, I will miss you forever and even in your death you gave me love, clarity, insight and strength. I love you.